Lost and Found

Lost in the past.
For so many years.
Yearning for that same feeling,
Memories that were still so real.
It has taken some years
to reconcile with the past;
To finish the unfinished,
To finally say goodbye.
I sit here this morning
listening to the birds
and treefrogs singing,
the sun warming my face
as I look to the sky.
Like the clouds moving
Across the vast heavenly plains,
I realize I can
let my clouds go
Send them on their way,
let the past go
and live for today.
I am here now
A part of this day,
not yesterday,
not last year.
I will live today
and now every day
because I have buried the past
and I have found today.

08-30-11

Thank You

Thank you for keeping our memories alive,
Remembering our Montreal carriage ride.
Sharing wonderful bottles of wines,
Walking through the tall Montana pines.
Teaching me to skip rocks
Across Whitefish Lake,
Then the long road to BC we did take.
Convinced I’d pet a wild mule deer,
You said I’d never get near,
Near those wild mule deer...
We laughed as I tried and had so much fun,
As we drove up The Road to the Sun.
Our little cabin in Glacier National Park,
Cabin number 45, our own special landmark.
Horseback riding in Kalispell,
So many stories we have to tell…
Syracuse, the outdoor market,
A sterling silver Vietnamese box,
Treasures for me you bought.
Taking me to first taste Thai
I loved it, I can’t deny.

Thank you for giving me
So many firsts,
For the things from you which
I was immersed.

Thank you for still taking me
To your sacred places,
Thank you for still holding me
Dear in your heart,
Always keeping me close,
So we’ve never really had to part.

Thank you my love.
Thank you my friend.

c111409

The Color Red

If your gun is here
I want it.

If you gun is here
I'll find it.

Pillows to cover my head
to spare you,
the color red.

I'm empty inside
There's no where to hide.
I just want to die.

The pain you can replace,
If you take me out of that place
In your heart, inside
Where you thought I may lay.

It wasn't really me,
There is no me.

No one you could
have ever had known.

I had left.
A spirit fled.
So long ago,
You didn't know.

You only saw a shell
of torture and hell.

It really will be better
When away goes the sound
And the stanch powdery smell

With the hopeful attempt to spare you
the color red.......


cwdg/re:J.S./061905

I look at you,
around this place.
This place we call home.
You have given me so much
Yet I feel so alone.
You gave me false hopes,
of a life filled with more
than what you will give.
You don't give me your love,
You don't give me your time,
You don't give me encouragement,
You mess with my mind.

I've given so much of myself
To keep it all together
Without you, without any help.
I've tried for years
to hide your secrets,
to hide my fears.

I thought it was all over.
The battle with your demons.
You've done so well
I no longer have to cover.

But I found deceit,
I found something much more
than your battle before.
You look into my eyes,
You find it so easy to lie.
You tell me I've always been the one,
Our vows you broke and still
you're not done.

You think you can hide
Your indescretions from me
You think you can have
Your tainted fantasies.
No concern
No regard for me.

I tried to love you
The best I could.
I did what any wife would.
I stayed by your side
When no one else would.

This is my thanks?
This is your love?
I gave you all I had
You never were interested
You never really cared.

You've really done it
with this.
There is no repair.
Whatever I thought,
it was never this.
You betrayed me and you don't even know
you've been caught.

I've always known
What one day I'd have to do.
What you've done,
you've given me an out
a reason to leave
with this I have no doubt.

It never once crossed my mind
this would happen
this could be
this is what
you would do to me.
You trample my trust
You follow your lust.

It's not love you seek,
It's not love you want.
What you want,
You want discreet.

I can walk away
There's really nothing else
to say
There's nothing you can do
to make me stay.

No hard feelings,
No hate
Just a sadness
Just a clean break.



cwdg110909

Future Peace

Remembering your words of wisdom
Re-living the feel of your touch
Brings me to a reality
To the life ahead of us.
My heart overflows
As memories collide with our plans.
In whatever direction we go
if we live as one
I can be truly happy and at peace
In the arms of you,
that so dearly loveth me.

If I Command

If I command the moon and stars
To come down
They will.

If I command your love,
Forever I shall have it.

If I set you free,
You will come back to me.

For your love,
I have given all of myself
Strengthened and held by time,

You,
I will keep
Forever.

The Mind

Beached on land
of madness and insanity
Burst of fire reflecting on
The sea of water.
Casting prisms of colors
Against the sand.
Hurting, it screams
In fury at the
Trespassing of its
Solitude.
Dancing rays
Spinning round
Never stopping
Never slowing down
No warning sign.
Running,
No place to go
to leave it all behind.
Just can't escape
The burning rays
Dipping deeper and deeper.
Thriving and thrusting
Into the delicate
Sculptured art...
The Mind.

Star Light Star Bright

When you feel
You are the only star
in the vast array of darkness
way up in the sky~
The only light you see
Is the reflection of your own~
Don't despair
Or feel the evil lonliness
envelope you.
Shine bright
Star light.
Because just across the way
My star light
Is shinning.
Sometimes not bright,
But always there.
Shine bright
Star light.
I'm there.

The Rulers

Moon~the mother
Stars~her daughters
Rulers of the ancient skies.
Luminescence; they all illuminate
Reaching into us all
Deep within us.
Every Cell
Every follicle.
Inside us
emitting a glow around us.
Circling around our souls
Whirling their warm wind,
Spinning us around.

Standing Alone

Standing alone
High upon a
Majestic Rocky Mountain top
Overlooking miles of Mother Nature,
absorbing her
in her grandest glory.
Feeling the warmth of the sun
on my naked body,
Hearing the rushing
of the mountain stream,
The cry of an eagle,
The whispering of the winds,
The rustling of the trees;
Absorbing her,
Taking her into my own body...
Alone with Mother I stand
Total peace and tranquility.

Morning and Night

The silouette of you standing
By the window on a sunny morn
Brings back such tender
Moments we have shared
and just reminds me
How special I am to have
a man as loving as you.
Your love for me
Could stand a million fights
And if ever in danger, I know
You would protect me
With your own special life.
The stars and the moon
Would never exist
If not for you to light my world.
For you are true
Morning and Night
In my life.

Parts

Parts of me die
Everyday I am alive
But those dying parts
Become other living parts
Everyday I live.
Only after those parts
have been reborn
Does my consiousness expand.
Life comes in many phases
Many metaphores.

To Live

Life,
Death,
Are they separate?
To die
Is to just
Be reborn.
To live
is to just die.
To live
Some of the mentality
must die
only to become alive;
or is it just not alive yet,
before it dies?

Magic of the Night

The magic of the night
Our bodies held tight
Against the world
We stood to fight.
From the sun
we got our energy
From the winds
we got our power.
And to the skies we will soar
Our love lifting us high
as the bright blue sky
Forever more.

Living the Width

I don't want
to get to the end
of my life
and find
that I lived
just the length of it.
I want to have lived
the width of it
as well...

To the Ground

I held a fall leaf
In the palm of my hand.
It wept bitterly
As it dropped to the ground
To the ground, to the ground,
The cold frosted wind
Blew it to the ground.

Searching

When the moon whispers her secrets
In the dead of the night
And the journey still lies ahead
Many a times I have fallen asleep
to the voice of the winds
And waken in a strange place
with the sun coming up
slowly behind the horizon
And journeyed on
In hopes of finding you.

But instead,
I found not you
But the hurt and pain
of the real world.
Searching for the perfect place
of visual and mental tranquility
I have yet to find.
Searching,
through all of time.
Searching,
for you.

Moments

Moments away
Are like years apart.
The end of the day
Hurts the most in my heart.
I long for the morn
When I can see your face
And feel the gentleness of your touch
With your strong embrace.
That alone in itself
Gives me the strength
To sleep nights
And gives me the courage
To welcome the day.

How Much

How much
Do they think
I can take?
I can't go on
I'm about to break.
Life is so hard
Will it ever be worth it?
I hurt so much
No one sees
No one seems to care
No one understands.
It's all a masquerade
From day to day
What do I say
To let one know
I can't go on?

Do You Remember?

I had you once
For a very short time
And the happiness we shared,
I stored in my mind.
I relish the memories
of the times we once knew,
I only wish I knew if
You remember them too.