My Eyes - My Future - My Montana

What we think,
or what we know,
or what we believe,
is,
in the end,
of little consequence.
The only consequence is what we do.

Here is the Divine Dichotomy...

The way to ‘get there’ is to ‘be there’.

Just be where you choose to get!

It’s that simple...

I think of you my love and how much you mean to me

For you are in my heart, my mind, my soul you see
The gentle breezes of the morning brush my face as I walk out into the day

I look at the morning sky and watch the clouds slowly move away
As I walk slowly in the morning dew

I can think of nothing but you
You have captured my heart with your true love

And for this I thank the spirits above
You make every difficult task seem easy and smooth

I can do anything in life because with you I can not lose
You make me want to run, dance and sing

With your love guiding me I can do anything
I wait anxiously for us to meet again by phone, by word or by touch

Because you see, to me you mean so much
I love you with all my heart and want to bring you happiness

You make me see that the world can be so wonderful and filled with bliss
I go from task to task throughout the day with a smile on my face

For you have made life such a joy and put me in this happy place
Even when the clouds fill the sky with gray

Because of your love I always have a good day
I walk through the rain with my face lifted to the sky

Because I am thinking of us together, you and I
The rush of the winds as they blow through the trees

Makes my heart sing with love for you with ease

I love you so much

I long for your gentle touch
You have made my life a constant dream

I am happy now like I could never have seen
I love you with all of my heart

I want this thing we have to never part
For each day as we grow closer and closer to each other

I find that I can never think of another
You have possessed me with all of my heart and I thank the heavens above

I am yours totally loving, wanting, needing your love
I look at your smile and my heart skips a beat

I long to touch your face and feel its gentle heat
I long for you both day and night

And the thought of losing you gives me such a fright
I need your love, your touching me daily with your tenderness

It gives me happiness that you love me no less
I want to sing to you and make you smile

To see your face light up for just a little while
I long to hold you in my arms so tender and sweet

I so much want us to meet
But I know that as much as we love each other now

That eventually we will meet somehow
It may not be next week, next month or next year

But I will wait forever to welcome you into my arms with a tear
For each day as our love grows stronger and stronger

I know that you will think of me and ponder
What it would be like to have me in your arms so tender and sweet

I wait patiently for the day when we meet
Remember that I love you with all of my heart

And that never my love will we be apart
For love such as ours can survive down through the years

Sharing our laughter, our sorrow, our tears
Yes I love you with all my heart and soul you see

You are my love and without you I cannot be
May the spirits that brought us together guide us through each day

I love you is what I really wanted to say.

Take me into your arms my love, hold me tight,
Make love to me throughout the night.
Show me that I am yours and that you are mine,
Forever until the end of time.
Show me you love me like no other,
Let us always care for one another.
You are that special someone that I have been waiting for,
I felt it inside my heart, and I will feel it for ever more.
I want to feel your lips touching mine,
I want to feel your body pressed close to me as our hearts intertwine.
I want all of your love,
'Cause it brings joy to me that I have only dreamed of.
I can't wait till I touch you,hold you and kiss you,
For that is what I want to do.
I want to show you just how I feel,
To show you that my feelings for you are real.
So my love, take me into your arms where our dreams we can share,
So that I can show you how much I care.
My love for you will shine forever bright,
Like the brightest star on a warm summer night.
Till the end of time I will always care,
Forever in your arms, love to share.
Remember that I love you and this will always be true,
Forever and ever love only you.
Take me into your arms my love, hold me tight,
Let's dream forever of love tonight.
For I am yours and you are mine,
Forever till the end of time.

When the sun shines upon the dew covered grasses,
Remember me, my smiles, and gentle, loving caresses.
When the rain falls from the darkened clouded sky,
Remember me and the tears I did cry.
When lightening flashes through the dark nights,
Remember me, and how I searched for what was always right.
When thunder rolls and rumbles through the air,
Remember me, and I will always be there.
When you see a rainbow arcing across the sky,
Remember me, and please do not cry.
When you see wondrous things such as waterfalls,
Remember me and how I always gave my all.
When you hear a child laugh in joy and glee,
Always, always remember me.
When you see someone that struggles to be recognized,
Remember me and how hard I always tried.
When you see two lovers walking hand in hand,
Remember me, as you travel across this land.
When you see a moon shining in the sky so bright,
Remember me, and my love for all that is right.
When you see the wonderful and fascinating things this world has to hold,
Remember me, as you grow old.
For all I have asked is remembrance and love,
For this is all I have ever dreamed of.
When you realize,
what could have been,
What could have happened back then...
Just recall my words for that is how I wished it to be...
Always, Always......remember me......

I Want To Know

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were. The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves.
Black Elk Oglala Sioux Holy Man

I knew things were changing. The circle slowly spinning. Signs everywhere. My ability to see them clearer now more than ever. I have been living my latest motto. I have stepped out of myself and things are good and things are happening. I've been so trapped inside, for way too many years, and it feels so free to "step out". I have rekindled a beautiful friendship, for lack of any other way to explain the relationship, and I'm meeting new people that love the same things I do. I never thought in a million years I would put myself out there as I am doing and I'm starting to enjoy it. Imagine me! part of a social circuit....

Where love reigns the impossible may be attained.

Love yourself; get outside yourself and take action. Focus on the solution; be at peace.

(Sioux)

I'm so excited and I have no one to be excited with me! I went to register for my classes today, my plan is in action and I couldn't be happier! Last night was awful. Again I had to hear about how selfish it is for me to go to school. Again hearing him tell me he doesn't get anything out of it. It's really about him losing a bit of control...me out of the house, not at a job where he can "see" everything I do; meeting new people. I just have to laugh at his absurdity! It does suck that I can't talk about it or share my excitement. I am now going to have to deal with his ill attitude, I guess, for the next year. But it's worth it and I'm so excited.
Hello World, I'm back in school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sacrifices

Getting my education, I've always thought, was something I do for myself. Why can't I get the support I need for goinging back? He tells me that it's not worth the sacrifice of my time to him. That it's not "fair" to the family that I'd be gone from home. That I get too "uppity". That he should get something out of it. Those are some of the most absurd things I've ever heard. He says the only way I can go back is if in 3 years I make big bucks so he can have "more". I asked him if he was not happy with everything we already have; he said he wants more. He has his custom Harley and his fancy Cadi Deville and he still wants more. Life is not about the material things. I'm not going to go back to school for that. Education is for yourself. You don't do it for someone else. He says I'm selfish for saying that. I don't get it. Am I being too selfish to see? You educate yourself to better yourself. Whether you're in the classroom or out in the world, education is worth the sacrifice. It is to me. And I don't care what he says about it. It just makes things harder though...he left me the first time I went back. He thought he would be the teacher and teach me that I couldn't make it without him. That he was right and I was wrong. If he walks out that door, so be it. And if I have to go back to work for 40 hours a week to go to school full time, then that is what I am going to do. That is a sacrifice I have made before and will make again. It's worth it to me.

TIME

Time is something I don’t understand

It always fools me whenever it can.

Just when I think my time is past

Time stands still for me at last.

Why did time do this to me,

When I had loved so dearly?

Time to live, time to see

Again time just fooling me.

Time waits for no man they say

But time was wonderful that day.

That day in the mountains so far away.

The Great Spirit always knows what’s best for me

In time he gave me mountains, plains, and trees;

Then one day he gave me “C”.

But time changes that’s it’s way

Why it’s so I cannot say.

One day she said it cannot be

Time again was fooling me.

One moment in time forever free

Time has taken a lot from me.

But In my heart she will always be

Time will never take that from me.

S.H. to C.11-17-09

Images of you are with me every night
As my longings and dreams take flight.
Longings and dreams I hold forever
Visions of us at the sacred circle together.
Dancing together ‘neath Lakota skies
With the gleam of love in our eyes.
Our hearts in rhythm with the drum beats
The feel of Mother Earth beneath our feet.
Every night this is what I dream of
Wrapped together in the arms of love.
The wind whispering through our hair
Dancing the night away without a care.
The beautiful feeling beneath our feet
That of our Mother’s heartbeat.
To the four directions we offer our Prayers
Thankful for the beautiful harmony we share.
Every night the dream is the same
As I fall asleep whispering your name
But as I listen to the whispering wind
I wonder, is it only a dream
Of what might have been…..

Or what will be.............

Gold Moon

I wear a strand of gold
It circles around my neck.
A moon made of gold
Upon which her face is etched.
She hangs on the string of gold
Sitting there, guarding my heart.
From me she never parts,
I have her on today.
She wards people off,
She keeps them away.
Her sharp golden edges
Circling around my neck
You put her there to protect.
She’s been great at her job
She’s pierced a few
It’s as if she knew,
To do it for you.

C111809

My Guide

My spirit guide has appeared before me. He must be my guide because I have no way else of explaining how and why he has appeared to me. Coming home from work one night just a few weeks ago, around 10:30 pm, only maybe ¼ mile from my house, I come around a curve and my lights are shining on the biggest buck I have ever seen in all my life. He was standing at the edge of the road; looking right into the lights of my car seeming to see beyond the lights and focusing his gaze right into my eyes. Not being scared he was about to leap before me, I was mesmerized by his dark black eyes and was amazed at his size, his apparent strength, and the massive rack upon his head. I know he had at least 12 points. He was one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen. I had slowed the car when I first spotted him, not knowing what he was about to do. But he just stood there, watching me, waiting for me to pass. I looked in my rear view mirror, he never crossed that road, he just stood there watching me…

And then again, last weekend, on my way home from work, at the exact same location, he was there again; just exactly as he was before. Standing there almost on the pavement, seeming to be waiting for me, not afraid, just something he must be trying to say. Again I was not frightened, not afraid he would cross, I just looked right into his eyes, wanting so much to know what he is trying to say. I slowly drove by; he just stood there, watching me…

The deer carries the message of purity and purpose; and of walking in the light. His strength and his age must make him my my special spirit guide. I see clearly now that he is showing me a sign. I’m doing what is right…I’m following my inner light.

Twice in the last two weeks..... He must really be making sure I understand or else he is watching very closely over me, so close to home, making sure he’s seen…

Thank You

Thank you for keeping our memories alive,
Remembering our Montreal carriage ride.
Sharing wonderful bottles of wines,
Walking through the tall Montana pines.
Teaching me to skip rocks
Across Whitefish Lake,
Then the long road to BC we did take.
Convinced I’d pet a wild mule deer,
You said I’d never get near,
Near those wild mule deer...
We laughed as I tried and had so much fun,
As we drove up The Road to the Sun.
Our little cabin in Glacier National Park,
Cabin number 45, our own special landmark.
Horseback riding in Kalispell,
So many stories we have to tell…
Syracuse, the outdoor market,
A sterling silver Vietnamese box,
Treasures for me you bought.
Taking me to first taste Thai
I loved it, I can’t deny.

Thank you for giving me
So many firsts,
For the things from you which
I was immersed.

Thank you for still taking me
To your sacred places,
Thank you for still holding me
Dear in your heart,
Always keeping me close,
So we’ve never really had to part.

Thank you my love.
Thank you my friend.

c111409

The Color Red

If your gun is here
I want it.

If you gun is here
I'll find it.

Pillows to cover my head
to spare you,
the color red.

I'm empty inside
There's no where to hide.
I just want to die.

The pain you can replace,
If you take me out of that place
In your heart, inside
Where you thought I may lay.

It wasn't really me,
There is no me.

No one you could
have ever had known.

I had left.
A spirit fled.
So long ago,
You didn't know.

You only saw a shell
of torture and hell.

It really will be better
When away goes the sound
And the stanch powdery smell

With the hopeful attempt to spare you
the color red.......


cwdg/re:J.S./061905

I look at you,
around this place.
This place we call home.
You have given me so much
Yet I feel so alone.
You gave me false hopes,
of a life filled with more
than what you will give.
You don't give me your love,
You don't give me your time,
You don't give me encouragement,
You mess with my mind.

I've given so much of myself
To keep it all together
Without you, without any help.
I've tried for years
to hide your secrets,
to hide my fears.

I thought it was all over.
The battle with your demons.
You've done so well
I no longer have to cover.

But I found deceit,
I found something much more
than your battle before.
You look into my eyes,
You find it so easy to lie.
You tell me I've always been the one,
Our vows you broke and still
you're not done.

You think you can hide
Your indescretions from me
You think you can have
Your tainted fantasies.
No concern
No regard for me.

I tried to love you
The best I could.
I did what any wife would.
I stayed by your side
When no one else would.

This is my thanks?
This is your love?
I gave you all I had
You never were interested
You never really cared.

You've really done it
with this.
There is no repair.
Whatever I thought,
it was never this.
You betrayed me and you don't even know
you've been caught.

I've always known
What one day I'd have to do.
What you've done,
you've given me an out
a reason to leave
with this I have no doubt.

It never once crossed my mind
this would happen
this could be
this is what
you would do to me.
You trample my trust
You follow your lust.

It's not love you seek,
It's not love you want.
What you want,
You want discreet.

I can walk away
There's really nothing else
to say
There's nothing you can do
to make me stay.

No hard feelings,
No hate
Just a sadness
Just a clean break.



cwdg110909

I was asked today if I was happy from a very dear friend. The first thing in my mind was that I'm not miserable. Miserable, happy, miserably happy? By nature I am a very happy person. I wake up happy, ready to greet a new day. I find happiness in the smallest of things; the way the sun hits the glass in my kitchen and creates a rainbow in the room; when the sky is so beautiful blue with not a cloud in the sky; watching a family of hummingbirds feed every morning in front of my window at 9:30am; hearing the sound of my little dogs nails prancing across the wood floors; watching my daughter sleep, just to name a few. I'm happy that I'm healthy and my family as well. I'm happy that I can spend all the time I do with my daughter. I'm happy, really happy, when I spend the months of September soaking up the sun in the middle of the pacific ocean. There are so many things that make my happy and that I am so grateful for. But there are things in my life that if I could change, if I do change, would make me happy in a way that only that way could. I guess that true happiness really does come within; within your own heart; your own happy. And that's the love, your own love, the kind you know only comes to you once in your lifetime, that kind of love. .. If one believes that they deserve that happiness, the completeness of their heart, when they share it with their love, it is a love worth loving. Knowing I'm missing that, that makes me unhappy. But I stay happy for the tomorrows, I am happy for the days I am here on the earth, but I would be happiest with my last love..........So miserable I'm not, happy I am and happy I'm not.

The winds of time just cannot
blow my love away...

Deep in my soul, this love was born,
and will last till my dying day.

Sands in the hourglass slowly fall,
and time quickly runs by...

A sigh escapes...this longing for love
is as vast as the Earth and Sky...

Till we meet again, God go with you,
and guide your wayward gait...

But know in my heart, my undying love
Silently, longingly...waits.

Future Peace

Remembering your words of wisdom
Re-living the feel of your touch
Brings me to a reality
To the life ahead of us.
My heart overflows
As memories collide with our plans.
In whatever direction we go
if we live as one
I can be truly happy and at peace
In the arms of you,
that so dearly loveth me.

If I Command

If I command the moon and stars
To come down
They will.

If I command your love,
Forever I shall have it.

If I set you free,
You will come back to me.

For your love,
I have given all of myself
Strengthened and held by time,

You,
I will keep
Forever.

The Mind

Beached on land
of madness and insanity
Burst of fire reflecting on
The sea of water.
Casting prisms of colors
Against the sand.
Hurting, it screams
In fury at the
Trespassing of its
Solitude.
Dancing rays
Spinning round
Never stopping
Never slowing down
No warning sign.
Running,
No place to go
to leave it all behind.
Just can't escape
The burning rays
Dipping deeper and deeper.
Thriving and thrusting
Into the delicate
Sculptured art...
The Mind.

Star Light Star Bright

When you feel
You are the only star
in the vast array of darkness
way up in the sky~
The only light you see
Is the reflection of your own~
Don't despair
Or feel the evil lonliness
envelope you.
Shine bright
Star light.
Because just across the way
My star light
Is shinning.
Sometimes not bright,
But always there.
Shine bright
Star light.
I'm there.

Time Changes

As time changes
We again became whole
For no barriers
Can stand against our love and soul.
Our love now
Far from complete
Has many years to grow.
I can't begin to dream
I could love you more.
But as the years continue
With our memories,
I know things will only
Change again
to bring more
love and more care.

The Rulers

Moon~the mother
Stars~her daughters
Rulers of the ancient skies.
Luminescence; they all illuminate
Reaching into us all
Deep within us.
Every Cell
Every follicle.
Inside us
emitting a glow around us.
Circling around our souls
Whirling their warm wind,
Spinning us around.

Standing Alone

Standing alone
High upon a
Majestic Rocky Mountain top
Overlooking miles of Mother Nature,
absorbing her
in her grandest glory.
Feeling the warmth of the sun
on my naked body,
Hearing the rushing
of the mountain stream,
The cry of an eagle,
The whispering of the winds,
The rustling of the trees;
Absorbing her,
Taking her into my own body...
Alone with Mother I stand
Total peace and tranquility.

Morning and Night

The silouette of you standing
By the window on a sunny morn
Brings back such tender
Moments we have shared
and just reminds me
How special I am to have
a man as loving as you.
Your love for me
Could stand a million fights
And if ever in danger, I know
You would protect me
With your own special life.
The stars and the moon
Would never exist
If not for you to light my world.
For you are true
Morning and Night
In my life.

Dreams-1985

I found a sheet of paper today
on which I wrote my dreams and desires of my life.
At the tender age of 14, I knew then
what I still want now at 40.

My dreams as written March 3, 1985

To marry my true love
To live out west (Montana) on top of a mountain.
To have a log cabin, horses, dogs, and the barn cats.
To grow my own food
To be a good wife and mother (2 boys and a girl)
To make my husband and children happy
To provide for my family
and to have an awesome corvette!

Some dreams do come true
Some dreams are still worth dreaming.....
Worth holding onto....

Parts

Parts of me die
Everyday I am alive
But those dying parts
Become other living parts
Everyday I live.
Only after those parts
have been reborn
Does my consiousness expand.
Life comes in many phases
Many metaphores.

To Live

Life,
Death,
Are they separate?
To die
Is to just
Be reborn.
To live
is to just die.
To live
Some of the mentality
must die
only to become alive;
or is it just not alive yet,
before it dies?

Magic of the Night

The magic of the night
Our bodies held tight
Against the world
We stood to fight.
From the sun
we got our energy
From the winds
we got our power.
And to the skies we will soar
Our love lifting us high
as the bright blue sky
Forever more.

Past/Future

There is a past
which is gone forever;
But there is a future
Which is still our own.

Time

Time is the moment
that lasted forever,
and the day that
disappeared.

Living the Width

I don't want
to get to the end
of my life
and find
that I lived
just the length of it.
I want to have lived
the width of it
as well...

To the Ground

I held a fall leaf
In the palm of my hand.
It wept bitterly
As it dropped to the ground
To the ground, to the ground,
The cold frosted wind
Blew it to the ground.

Searching

When the moon whispers her secrets
In the dead of the night
And the journey still lies ahead
Many a times I have fallen asleep
to the voice of the winds
And waken in a strange place
with the sun coming up
slowly behind the horizon
And journeyed on
In hopes of finding you.

But instead,
I found not you
But the hurt and pain
of the real world.
Searching for the perfect place
of visual and mental tranquility
I have yet to find.
Searching,
through all of time.
Searching,
for you.

His Love

His love
Like that of a spear
Pierced my heart
Poisoned all,
Not just a part.
I look into
his eyes
And see my
Paradise.
Like a mom's
Lulabies to her
small child,
He comforts me
And guides me
Throught the vast
misunderstandings
of the outside.
And with my ring
to him I'll give
To show how true
My love can only grow
Greater each minute
Of everyday.

My Star

Too hard
Too much
Tearing pain
Breaking heart.
How long
will it go on
So far
It hasn't quit
My innermost feelings
all withdrawn.
My love,
My star...
Come light up my life.

If There Be Sorrow

If there be sorrow
let it be
for things undone...
undreamed
unrealized
unattained.
To these add one:
Love witheld...
restrained.

Please Don't Ever Go

Please never leave me
I couldn't bear the pain.
You're my day
You're my night
You're the sun
You're the moon
And the stars which
Envelope my life.

All I need
Is you to be
Forever with me
By my side.
I need not luxuries
For you are my necessity
And all my needs.

I love you so...
Please,
Please,
Don't ever go.

Moments

Moments away
Are like years apart.
The end of the day
Hurts the most in my heart.
I long for the morn
When I can see your face
And feel the gentleness of your touch
With your strong embrace.
That alone in itself
Gives me the strength
To sleep nights
And gives me the courage
To welcome the day.

How Much

How much
Do they think
I can take?
I can't go on
I'm about to break.
Life is so hard
Will it ever be worth it?
I hurt so much
No one sees
No one seems to care
No one understands.
It's all a masquerade
From day to day
What do I say
To let one know
I can't go on?

Seek?

The hurt,
Loneliness,
Devasting
to the heart.
Crying out
No one hearing,
Seeming to care.
Almost
Giving up
Needing something
Not knowing
Can't endure
Anymore.
If to hide,
Would anyone seek?

Do You Remember?

I had you once
For a very short time
And the happiness we shared,
I stored in my mind.
I relish the memories
of the times we once knew,
I only wish I knew if
You remember them too.

Like A Rainbow

Although I live miles away,
you are always
Close in my heart.
And when I am lonely
You are all that is on my mind.
When I think about your caring voice
And gentle touch, I realize
You are worth it.

Like a rainbow
Above a cloud,
Your love brightens my life
And colors my world.
It brings me hope
And determination
To live a happy life
And dream of the
Moments when
We can be together
Once more.

Once In a Lifetime

Just once in a lifetime
The right one comes along.
The feeling is immortal
To know you belong.
Just once in this lifetime
I see his honest face,
I touch his loving hand,
I feel his warm embrace.
Just once in a lifetime
Everything feels right.
I see his shining face
And my darkness turns to light.
Just once in a lifetime
The feeling is so new,
To say three words
and mean them,
The words are
I love you.

Once In a Lifetime

Just

Being without you
is just
One step to loneliness.

Missing you
is just
A stab of pain.

Pushing through each day
is just
An act to fill the void.

Dreaming of you
is just
A way of escaping.

My Love For You

You came into my life
and things began to change.
The sun would never set
Familiar things seemed strange.

Our love began to grow
A very special thing.
A love to last forever
with special joys to bring.

The seasons come and go
And still our love stays true
To carry on until
Grass fails to have dew.

No words could ever tell
The depth of my devotion
the feelings innermost
That special magic potion.

True love can't be explained
But exists in every heart
Soon to be revealed
When nature does its part.

These last few words I'll say,
My love for you is strong
And as long as I shall live
To you I will belong.

I Give

I give you my life
and all it entails.
I give you my love,
which forever will prevail.
I give you my faith
For I trust you alone.
I give you myself,
For it's all I own.

I Need

I need your laughter always.
I need the trust you give.
But most of all I need your friendship
For everyday I live.
I may not often tell you
of the thanks within my heart
Of all the dreams, hopes and plans
of which you are a part.
But I hope you understand
At least to some degree
how I care about your friendship,
And how much you mean to me.

I Saw Your Face

As I sat on the beach
In the late afternoon
I see your face
In the sea
You were there
Smiling,
Staring at me.
My heart felt warm
and full of happiness.
As I walked out to you
You seemed to disappear
In a single crash
With the high waves
Again you came
and went away.
Will you stay?

Love Your Life

We cannot
listen to what
others want us to do.
We must listen
to ourselves.
Society,
Family,
Friends
do not know
What we must do.
Only we know,
And only we
Can do what is right for us.
So start right now
You will need to
work very hard.
You will need to
overcome many obstacles.
You will need to go
Against the judgement
of many people.
And you will need
to bypass their prejudices.
But you can have
what you want
If you try hard enough.
So start right now
and you will live
A life designed for you
And you will love your life.

It's You

I sit here,
Bored.
I don't feel like talking
to the people here.
I don't feel like looking
at this place anymore.
I sit here,
Lonely.
Realizing that it's not people
Or places that make me happy,
It's you.

I've Got to Let Go

You've hurt me
Too much for me to say.
But I still want you
More than you'll ever know; everyday.

As I sit here alone
I'm filled with so many memories
I still don't want to let go.

Whatever happened
Whatever I did,
I didn't mean it,
I'm still just a kid.

As I walk through the park
the trees seem to talk
They say "She's the one with the broken heart!"

I want to scream and shout
and say it's not so
but it's time I need to realize
I've got to let go.

1991

Lost Souls

In the vast planes
of restless souls
caught between above
and below.
They reach out for
Something;
Someone.

To be comforted
or to just get direction.
Help them if you can.
The lost souls,
They are really our own.

Soul Light

Days past,
Moons back.
A love shared by two.

Now,
shattered memories
of webbed lies,
torn feelings,
a broken heart.

Yet,
The light is there
at the end;
Making it another beginning.
Find your soul light,
Follow it and it will lead
you to tomorrow.
Ignore it
and only darkeness
will follow you.

Last

I saw him
standing in the crowd.
I knew who he was,
I knew he was mine
when the light caught
His blue eyes.
They glittered,
his stare so instense.

I could feel his spirit
even yards apart.
He felt me too.
I could feel him looking,
knowing and speaking
only with his eyes.
He knew he was mine.

In a second he was gone
But he was still there.
Our auras collided in the vast
wonderland of another world,
Forever together,
His love my last.

Last Train

The last train out
left a day ago.
I'm on my own
with nowhere to go.
My bags are packed,
my map's in hand
Where is there to go
In this vast land?
When the road gets long
And the travel hard,
I'll keep looking,
Listening for his song.

Best Friends

She died
Just an hour ago
Left nothing
but her ole dog.

Memories
In that old house
Pour through the windows
of her days long before.

Lonely,
I imagine she wasn't
With that ole dog.

Her chair still rocks
As though she's still there
A secret shared
between best friends.

In her chair
she still sits
Her ole dog,
still,
by her feet.

You sit on the windowsill
of my soul
I am not afraid,
I invite you in.
Soaring on the wings of friendship and love,
We can climb new heights
Venture into the realms of this life
that together we can share.
To explore the depths of the unknown,
to share lived experiences.

Again,
my Spirit soars
Together with yours.

May our intertwined magic
take us to new heights
to a new time,
a new place.

Together with yours,
Our spirits will soar....

Circles

Circle of love.
The circle
Always coming back around
The constant motion of time
spinning us around.
The circle
No hard edges,
no fine lines,
circles,
Rolling on with time.
Circle of love.

RLS - Down to my Soul

I saw him there
Standing in the crowd.
I stopped...dead in my tracks
Feeling his magnetism
Our magic colliding together,
wrapping around us.
His eyes so deeply
burning right down to my soul.

I lost my breath,
Paralyzed, I couldn't move.
His eyes looking right into me
Right through me....
Burning right down to my soul.

I knew he wasn't alone
It wasn't yet time
Just a sign.

I knew him immediately,
I knew him from another day.
He was not just another face
From another time,
another place.
He's a part of me
down to my soul...

03-1991

The Journey

Life isn't a destination ~
It's a journey.
We all come upon unexpected curves,
turning points,
mountaintops and valleys.
Everything that happens to us
Shapes who we are becoming,
And in the adventure of each day,
We discover the best in ourselves...

What I meant to say

Was what I didn't say at all........

Ice Cold

The glass house shattered.
Fell to a million pieces.
The slivers of glass, ice cold
pierced my heart,
All,
not just a part.

There I lay bleeding.

The mist from his breath
Ice cold, hitting
the warm air,
clouding his eyes
as they stared at me
through the haze.
Hearing, not believing
these lies
Seeing, unmistakenly,
the hard stone glaze.

Afraid to again give my heart.

The slivers of glass,
Ice cold,
Pierced my heart,
All,
not just a part.

You Think

You think that I can't live
without your love,
You'll see..
You think I have nothing
without you by my side
You'll see...
Somehow, someday.

You think you are strong,
but you are weak
Admit defeat.
I have trust on my side,
You only deceit.

All by myself
I don't need anyone at all.
All on my own,
I know I'll survive
I'll stay alive...


011696

2 Years Gone By

It's been a little of two years since my last post. And today, I sit here am wondering the same things. Will he come home tonight straight? Will it ever change?