Monday, November 30, 2009
Sacrifices
Getting my education, I've always thought, was something I do for myself. Why can't I get the support I need for goinging back? He tells me that it's not worth the sacrifice of my time to him. That it's not "fair" to the family that I'd be gone from home. That I get too "uppity". That he should get something out of it. Those are some of the most absurd things I've ever heard. He says the only way I can go back is if in 3 years I make big bucks so he can have "more". I asked him if he was not happy with everything we already have; he said he wants more. He has his custom Harley and his fancy Cadi Deville and he still wants more. Life is not about the material things. I'm not going to go back to school for that. Education is for yourself. You don't do it for someone else. He says I'm selfish for saying that. I don't get it. Am I being too selfish to see? You educate yourself to better yourself. Whether you're in the classroom or out in the world, education is worth the sacrifice. It is to me. And I don't care what he says about it. It just makes things harder though...he left me the first time I went back. He thought he would be the teacher and teach me that I couldn't make it without him. That he was right and I was wrong. If he walks out that door, so be it. And if I have to go back to work for 40 hours a week to go to school full time, then that is what I am going to do. That is a sacrifice I have made before and will make again. It's worth it to me.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
TIME
Time is something I don’t understand
It always fools me whenever it can.
Just when I think my time is past
Time stands still for me at last.
Why did time do this to me,
When I had loved so dearly?
Time to live, time to see
Again time just fooling me.
Time waits for no man they say
But time was wonderful that day.
That day in the mountains so far away.
The Great Spirit always knows what’s best for me
In time he gave me mountains, plains, and trees;
Then one day he gave me “C”.
But time changes that’s it’s way
Why it’s so I cannot say.
One day she said it cannot be
Time again was fooling me.
One moment in time forever free
Time has taken a lot from me.
But In my heart she will always be
Time will never take that from me.
S.H. to C.11-17-09
Images of you are with me every night
As my longings and dreams take flight.
Longings and dreams I hold forever
Visions of us at the sacred circle together.
Dancing together ‘neath Lakota skies
With the gleam of love in our eyes.
Our hearts in rhythm with the drum beats
The feel of Mother Earth beneath our feet.
Every night this is what I dream of
Wrapped together in the arms of love.
The wind whispering through our hair
Dancing the night away without a care.
The beautiful feeling beneath our feet
That of our Mother’s heartbeat.
To the four directions we offer our Prayers
Thankful for the beautiful harmony we share.
Every night the dream is the same
As I fall asleep whispering your name
But as I listen to the whispering wind
I wonder, is it only a dream
Of what might have been…..
As my longings and dreams take flight.
Longings and dreams I hold forever
Visions of us at the sacred circle together.
Dancing together ‘neath Lakota skies
With the gleam of love in our eyes.
Our hearts in rhythm with the drum beats
The feel of Mother Earth beneath our feet.
Every night this is what I dream of
Wrapped together in the arms of love.
The wind whispering through our hair
Dancing the night away without a care.
The beautiful feeling beneath our feet
That of our Mother’s heartbeat.
To the four directions we offer our Prayers
Thankful for the beautiful harmony we share.
Every night the dream is the same
As I fall asleep whispering your name
But as I listen to the whispering wind
I wonder, is it only a dream
Of what might have been…..
Or what will be.............
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Gold Moon
I wear a strand of gold
It circles around my neck.
A moon made of gold
Upon which her face is etched.
She hangs on the string of gold
Sitting there, guarding my heart.
From me she never parts,
I have her on today.
She wards people off,
She keeps them away.
Her sharp golden edges
Circling around my neck
You put her there to protect.
She’s been great at her job
She’s pierced a few
It’s as if she knew,
To do it for you.
C111809
It circles around my neck.
A moon made of gold
Upon which her face is etched.
She hangs on the string of gold
Sitting there, guarding my heart.
From me she never parts,
I have her on today.
She wards people off,
She keeps them away.
Her sharp golden edges
Circling around my neck
You put her there to protect.
She’s been great at her job
She’s pierced a few
It’s as if she knew,
To do it for you.
C111809
Monday, November 16, 2009
My Guide
My spirit guide has appeared before me. He must be my guide because I have no way else of explaining how and why he has appeared to me. Coming home from work one night just a few weeks ago, around 10:30 pm, only maybe ¼ mile from my house, I come around a curve and my lights are shining on the biggest buck I have ever seen in all my life. He was standing at the edge of the road; looking right into the lights of my car seeming to see beyond the lights and focusing his gaze right into my eyes. Not being scared he was about to leap before me, I was mesmerized by his dark black eyes and was amazed at his size, his apparent strength, and the massive rack upon his head. I know he had at least 12 points. He was one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen. I had slowed the car when I first spotted him, not knowing what he was about to do. But he just stood there, watching me, waiting for me to pass. I looked in my rear view mirror, he never crossed that road, he just stood there watching me…
And then again, last weekend, on my way home from work, at the exact same location, he was there again; just exactly as he was before. Standing there almost on the pavement, seeming to be waiting for me, not afraid, just something he must be trying to say. Again I was not frightened, not afraid he would cross, I just looked right into his eyes, wanting so much to know what he is trying to say. I slowly drove by; he just stood there, watching me…
The deer carries the message of purity and purpose; and of walking in the light. His strength and his age must make him my my special spirit guide. I see clearly now that he is showing me a sign. I’m doing what is right…I’m following my inner light.
Twice in the last two weeks..... He must really be making sure I understand or else he is watching very closely over me, so close to home, making sure he’s seen…
And then again, last weekend, on my way home from work, at the exact same location, he was there again; just exactly as he was before. Standing there almost on the pavement, seeming to be waiting for me, not afraid, just something he must be trying to say. Again I was not frightened, not afraid he would cross, I just looked right into his eyes, wanting so much to know what he is trying to say. I slowly drove by; he just stood there, watching me…
The deer carries the message of purity and purpose; and of walking in the light. His strength and his age must make him my my special spirit guide. I see clearly now that he is showing me a sign. I’m doing what is right…I’m following my inner light.
Twice in the last two weeks..... He must really be making sure I understand or else he is watching very closely over me, so close to home, making sure he’s seen…
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Thank You
Thank you for keeping our memories alive,
Remembering our Montreal carriage ride.
Sharing wonderful bottles of wines,
Walking through the tall Montana pines.
Teaching me to skip rocks
Across Whitefish Lake,
Then the long road to BC we did take.
Convinced I’d pet a wild mule deer,
You said I’d never get near,
Near those wild mule deer...
We laughed as I tried and had so much fun,
As we drove up The Road to the Sun.
Our little cabin in Glacier National Park,
Cabin number 45, our own special landmark.
Horseback riding in Kalispell,
So many stories we have to tell…
Syracuse, the outdoor market,
A sterling silver Vietnamese box,
Treasures for me you bought.
Taking me to first taste Thai
I loved it, I can’t deny.
Thank you for giving me
So many firsts,
For the things from you which
I was immersed.
Thank you for still taking me
To your sacred places,
Thank you for still holding me
Dear in your heart,
Always keeping me close,
So we’ve never really had to part.
Thank you my love.
Thank you my friend.
c111409
Remembering our Montreal carriage ride.
Sharing wonderful bottles of wines,
Walking through the tall Montana pines.
Teaching me to skip rocks
Across Whitefish Lake,
Then the long road to BC we did take.
Convinced I’d pet a wild mule deer,
You said I’d never get near,
Near those wild mule deer...
We laughed as I tried and had so much fun,
As we drove up The Road to the Sun.
Our little cabin in Glacier National Park,
Cabin number 45, our own special landmark.
Horseback riding in Kalispell,
So many stories we have to tell…
Syracuse, the outdoor market,
A sterling silver Vietnamese box,
Treasures for me you bought.
Taking me to first taste Thai
I loved it, I can’t deny.
Thank you for giving me
So many firsts,
For the things from you which
I was immersed.
Thank you for still taking me
To your sacred places,
Thank you for still holding me
Dear in your heart,
Always keeping me close,
So we’ve never really had to part.
Thank you my love.
Thank you my friend.
c111409
The Color Red
If your gun is here
I want it.
If you gun is here
I'll find it.
Pillows to cover my head
to spare you,
the color red.
I'm empty inside
There's no where to hide.
I just want to die.
The pain you can replace,
If you take me out of that place
In your heart, inside
Where you thought I may lay.
It wasn't really me,
There is no me.
No one you could
have ever had known.
I had left.
A spirit fled.
So long ago,
You didn't know.
You only saw a shell
of torture and hell.
It really will be better
When away goes the sound
And the stanch powdery smell
With the hopeful attempt to spare you
the color red.......
cwdg/re:J.S./061905
I want it.
If you gun is here
I'll find it.
Pillows to cover my head
to spare you,
the color red.
I'm empty inside
There's no where to hide.
I just want to die.
The pain you can replace,
If you take me out of that place
In your heart, inside
Where you thought I may lay.
It wasn't really me,
There is no me.
No one you could
have ever had known.
I had left.
A spirit fled.
So long ago,
You didn't know.
You only saw a shell
of torture and hell.
It really will be better
When away goes the sound
And the stanch powdery smell
With the hopeful attempt to spare you
the color red.......
cwdg/re:J.S./061905
Friday, November 13, 2009
I look at you,
around this place.
This place we call home.
You have given me so much
Yet I feel so alone.
You gave me false hopes,
of a life filled with more
than what you will give.
You don't give me your love,
You don't give me your time,
You don't give me encouragement,
You mess with my mind.
I've given so much of myself
To keep it all together
Without you, without any help.
I've tried for years
to hide your secrets,
to hide my fears.
I thought it was all over.
The battle with your demons.
You've done so well
I no longer have to cover.
But I found deceit,
I found something much more
than your battle before.
You look into my eyes,
You find it so easy to lie.
You tell me I've always been the one,
Our vows you broke and still
you're not done.
You think you can hide
Your indescretions from me
You think you can have
Your tainted fantasies.
No concern
No regard for me.
I tried to love you
The best I could.
I did what any wife would.
I stayed by your side
When no one else would.
This is my thanks?
This is your love?
I gave you all I had
You never were interested
You never really cared.
You've really done it
with this.
There is no repair.
Whatever I thought,
it was never this.
You betrayed me and you don't even know
you've been caught.
I've always known
What one day I'd have to do.
What you've done,
you've given me an out
a reason to leave
with this I have no doubt.
It never once crossed my mind
this would happen
this could be
this is what
you would do to me.
You trample my trust
You follow your lust.
It's not love you seek,
It's not love you want.
What you want,
You want discreet.
I can walk away
There's really nothing else
to say
There's nothing you can do
to make me stay.
No hard feelings,
No hate
Just a sadness
Just a clean break.
cwdg110909
around this place.
This place we call home.
You have given me so much
Yet I feel so alone.
You gave me false hopes,
of a life filled with more
than what you will give.
You don't give me your love,
You don't give me your time,
You don't give me encouragement,
You mess with my mind.
I've given so much of myself
To keep it all together
Without you, without any help.
I've tried for years
to hide your secrets,
to hide my fears.
I thought it was all over.
The battle with your demons.
You've done so well
I no longer have to cover.
But I found deceit,
I found something much more
than your battle before.
You look into my eyes,
You find it so easy to lie.
You tell me I've always been the one,
Our vows you broke and still
you're not done.
You think you can hide
Your indescretions from me
You think you can have
Your tainted fantasies.
No concern
No regard for me.
I tried to love you
The best I could.
I did what any wife would.
I stayed by your side
When no one else would.
This is my thanks?
This is your love?
I gave you all I had
You never were interested
You never really cared.
You've really done it
with this.
There is no repair.
Whatever I thought,
it was never this.
You betrayed me and you don't even know
you've been caught.
I've always known
What one day I'd have to do.
What you've done,
you've given me an out
a reason to leave
with this I have no doubt.
It never once crossed my mind
this would happen
this could be
this is what
you would do to me.
You trample my trust
You follow your lust.
It's not love you seek,
It's not love you want.
What you want,
You want discreet.
I can walk away
There's really nothing else
to say
There's nothing you can do
to make me stay.
No hard feelings,
No hate
Just a sadness
Just a clean break.
cwdg110909
I was asked today if I was happy from a very dear friend. The first thing in my mind was that I'm not miserable. Miserable, happy, miserably happy? By nature I am a very happy person. I wake up happy, ready to greet a new day. I find happiness in the smallest of things; the way the sun hits the glass in my kitchen and creates a rainbow in the room; when the sky is so beautiful blue with not a cloud in the sky; watching a family of hummingbirds feed every morning in front of my window at 9:30am; hearing the sound of my little dogs nails prancing across the wood floors; watching my daughter sleep, just to name a few. I'm happy that I'm healthy and my family as well. I'm happy that I can spend all the time I do with my daughter. I'm happy, really happy, when I spend the months of September soaking up the sun in the middle of the pacific ocean. There are so many things that make my happy and that I am so grateful for. But there are things in my life that if I could change, if I do change, would make me happy in a way that only that way could. I guess that true happiness really does come within; within your own heart; your own happy. And that's the love, your own love, the kind you know only comes to you once in your lifetime, that kind of love. .. If one believes that they deserve that happiness, the completeness of their heart, when they share it with their love, it is a love worth loving. Knowing I'm missing that, that makes me unhappy. But I stay happy for the tomorrows, I am happy for the days I am here on the earth, but I would be happiest with my last love..........So miserable I'm not, happy I am and happy I'm not.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The winds of time just cannot
blow my love away...
Deep in my soul, this love was born,
and will last till my dying day.
Sands in the hourglass slowly fall,
and time quickly runs by...
A sigh escapes...this longing for love
is as vast as the Earth and Sky...
Till we meet again, God go with you,
and guide your wayward gait...
But know in my heart, my undying love
Silently, longingly...waits.
blow my love away...
Deep in my soul, this love was born,
and will last till my dying day.
Sands in the hourglass slowly fall,
and time quickly runs by...
A sigh escapes...this longing for love
is as vast as the Earth and Sky...
Till we meet again, God go with you,
and guide your wayward gait...
But know in my heart, my undying love
Silently, longingly...waits.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Future Peace
Remembering your words of wisdom
Re-living the feel of your touch
Brings me to a reality
To the life ahead of us.
My heart overflows
As memories collide with our plans.
In whatever direction we go
if we live as one
I can be truly happy and at peace
In the arms of you,
that so dearly loveth me.
Re-living the feel of your touch
Brings me to a reality
To the life ahead of us.
My heart overflows
As memories collide with our plans.
In whatever direction we go
if we live as one
I can be truly happy and at peace
In the arms of you,
that so dearly loveth me.
If I Command
If I command the moon and stars
To come down
They will.
If I command your love,
Forever I shall have it.
If I set you free,
You will come back to me.
For your love,
I have given all of myself
Strengthened and held by time,
You,
I will keep
Forever.
To come down
They will.
If I command your love,
Forever I shall have it.
If I set you free,
You will come back to me.
For your love,
I have given all of myself
Strengthened and held by time,
You,
I will keep
Forever.
The Mind
Beached on land
of madness and insanity
Burst of fire reflecting on
The sea of water.
Casting prisms of colors
Against the sand.
Hurting, it screams
In fury at the
Trespassing of its
Solitude.
Dancing rays
Spinning round
Never stopping
Never slowing down
No warning sign.
Running,
No place to go
to leave it all behind.
Just can't escape
The burning rays
Dipping deeper and deeper.
Thriving and thrusting
Into the delicate
Sculptured art...
The Mind.
of madness and insanity
Burst of fire reflecting on
The sea of water.
Casting prisms of colors
Against the sand.
Hurting, it screams
In fury at the
Trespassing of its
Solitude.
Dancing rays
Spinning round
Never stopping
Never slowing down
No warning sign.
Running,
No place to go
to leave it all behind.
Just can't escape
The burning rays
Dipping deeper and deeper.
Thriving and thrusting
Into the delicate
Sculptured art...
The Mind.
Star Light Star Bright
When you feel
You are the only star
in the vast array of darkness
way up in the sky~
The only light you see
Is the reflection of your own~
Don't despair
Or feel the evil lonliness
envelope you.
Shine bright
Star light.
Because just across the way
My star light
Is shinning.
Sometimes not bright,
But always there.
Shine bright
Star light.
I'm there.
You are the only star
in the vast array of darkness
way up in the sky~
The only light you see
Is the reflection of your own~
Don't despair
Or feel the evil lonliness
envelope you.
Shine bright
Star light.
Because just across the way
My star light
Is shinning.
Sometimes not bright,
But always there.
Shine bright
Star light.
I'm there.
Time Changes
As time changes
We again became whole
For no barriers
Can stand against our love and soul.
Our love now
Far from complete
Has many years to grow.
I can't begin to dream
I could love you more.
But as the years continue
With our memories,
I know things will only
Change again
to bring more
love and more care.
We again became whole
For no barriers
Can stand against our love and soul.
Our love now
Far from complete
Has many years to grow.
I can't begin to dream
I could love you more.
But as the years continue
With our memories,
I know things will only
Change again
to bring more
love and more care.
The Rulers
Moon~the mother
Stars~her daughters
Rulers of the ancient skies.
Luminescence; they all illuminate
Reaching into us all
Deep within us.
Every Cell
Every follicle.
Inside us
emitting a glow around us.
Circling around our souls
Whirling their warm wind,
Spinning us around.
Stars~her daughters
Rulers of the ancient skies.
Luminescence; they all illuminate
Reaching into us all
Deep within us.
Every Cell
Every follicle.
Inside us
emitting a glow around us.
Circling around our souls
Whirling their warm wind,
Spinning us around.
Standing Alone
Standing alone
High upon a
Majestic Rocky Mountain top
Overlooking miles of Mother Nature,
absorbing her
in her grandest glory.
Feeling the warmth of the sun
on my naked body,
Hearing the rushing
of the mountain stream,
The cry of an eagle,
The whispering of the winds,
The rustling of the trees;
Absorbing her,
Taking her into my own body...
Alone with Mother I stand
Total peace and tranquility.
High upon a
Majestic Rocky Mountain top
Overlooking miles of Mother Nature,
absorbing her
in her grandest glory.
Feeling the warmth of the sun
on my naked body,
Hearing the rushing
of the mountain stream,
The cry of an eagle,
The whispering of the winds,
The rustling of the trees;
Absorbing her,
Taking her into my own body...
Alone with Mother I stand
Total peace and tranquility.
Morning and Night
The silouette of you standing
By the window on a sunny morn
Brings back such tender
Moments we have shared
and just reminds me
How special I am to have
a man as loving as you.
Your love for me
Could stand a million fights
And if ever in danger, I know
You would protect me
With your own special life.
The stars and the moon
Would never exist
If not for you to light my world.
For you are true
Morning and Night
In my life.
By the window on a sunny morn
Brings back such tender
Moments we have shared
and just reminds me
How special I am to have
a man as loving as you.
Your love for me
Could stand a million fights
And if ever in danger, I know
You would protect me
With your own special life.
The stars and the moon
Would never exist
If not for you to light my world.
For you are true
Morning and Night
In my life.
Dreams-1985
I found a sheet of paper today
on which I wrote my dreams and desires of my life.
At the tender age of 14, I knew then
what I still want now at 40.
My dreams as written March 3, 1985
To marry my true love
To live out west (Montana) on top of a mountain.
To have a log cabin, horses, dogs, and the barn cats.
To grow my own food
To be a good wife and mother (2 boys and a girl)
To make my husband and children happy
To provide for my family
and to have an awesome corvette!
Some dreams do come true
Some dreams are still worth dreaming.....
Worth holding onto....
on which I wrote my dreams and desires of my life.
At the tender age of 14, I knew then
what I still want now at 40.
My dreams as written March 3, 1985
To marry my true love
To live out west (Montana) on top of a mountain.
To have a log cabin, horses, dogs, and the barn cats.
To grow my own food
To be a good wife and mother (2 boys and a girl)
To make my husband and children happy
To provide for my family
and to have an awesome corvette!
Some dreams do come true
Some dreams are still worth dreaming.....
Worth holding onto....
Parts
Parts of me die
Everyday I am alive
But those dying parts
Become other living parts
Everyday I live.
Only after those parts
have been reborn
Does my consiousness expand.
Life comes in many phases
Many metaphores.
Everyday I am alive
But those dying parts
Become other living parts
Everyday I live.
Only after those parts
have been reborn
Does my consiousness expand.
Life comes in many phases
Many metaphores.
To Live
Life,
Death,
Are they separate?
To die
Is to just
Be reborn.
To live
is to just die.
To live
Some of the mentality
must die
only to become alive;
or is it just not alive yet,
before it dies?
Death,
Are they separate?
To die
Is to just
Be reborn.
To live
is to just die.
To live
Some of the mentality
must die
only to become alive;
or is it just not alive yet,
before it dies?
Magic of the Night
The magic of the night
Our bodies held tight
Against the world
We stood to fight.
From the sun
we got our energy
From the winds
we got our power.
And to the skies we will soar
Our love lifting us high
as the bright blue sky
Forever more.
Our bodies held tight
Against the world
We stood to fight.
From the sun
we got our energy
From the winds
we got our power.
And to the skies we will soar
Our love lifting us high
as the bright blue sky
Forever more.
Living the Width
I don't want
to get to the end
of my life
and find
that I lived
just the length of it.
I want to have lived
the width of it
as well...
to get to the end
of my life
and find
that I lived
just the length of it.
I want to have lived
the width of it
as well...
To the Ground
I held a fall leaf
In the palm of my hand.
It wept bitterly
As it dropped to the ground
To the ground, to the ground,
The cold frosted wind
Blew it to the ground.
In the palm of my hand.
It wept bitterly
As it dropped to the ground
To the ground, to the ground,
The cold frosted wind
Blew it to the ground.
Searching
When the moon whispers her secrets
In the dead of the night
And the journey still lies ahead
Many a times I have fallen asleep
to the voice of the winds
And waken in a strange place
with the sun coming up
slowly behind the horizon
And journeyed on
In hopes of finding you.
But instead,
I found not you
But the hurt and pain
of the real world.
Searching for the perfect place
of visual and mental tranquility
I have yet to find.
Searching,
through all of time.
Searching,
for you.
In the dead of the night
And the journey still lies ahead
Many a times I have fallen asleep
to the voice of the winds
And waken in a strange place
with the sun coming up
slowly behind the horizon
And journeyed on
In hopes of finding you.
But instead,
I found not you
But the hurt and pain
of the real world.
Searching for the perfect place
of visual and mental tranquility
I have yet to find.
Searching,
through all of time.
Searching,
for you.
His Love
His love
Like that of a spear
Pierced my heart
Poisoned all,
Not just a part.
I look into
his eyes
And see my
Paradise.
Like a mom's
Lulabies to her
small child,
He comforts me
And guides me
Throught the vast
misunderstandings
of the outside.
And with my ring
to him I'll give
To show how true
My love can only grow
Greater each minute
Of everyday.
Like that of a spear
Pierced my heart
Poisoned all,
Not just a part.
I look into
his eyes
And see my
Paradise.
Like a mom's
Lulabies to her
small child,
He comforts me
And guides me
Throught the vast
misunderstandings
of the outside.
And with my ring
to him I'll give
To show how true
My love can only grow
Greater each minute
Of everyday.
My Star
Too hard
Too much
Tearing pain
Breaking heart.
How long
will it go on
So far
It hasn't quit
My innermost feelings
all withdrawn.
My love,
My star...
Come light up my life.
Too much
Tearing pain
Breaking heart.
How long
will it go on
So far
It hasn't quit
My innermost feelings
all withdrawn.
My love,
My star...
Come light up my life.
If There Be Sorrow
If there be sorrow
let it be
for things undone...
undreamed
unrealized
unattained.
To these add one:
Love witheld...
restrained.
let it be
for things undone...
undreamed
unrealized
unattained.
To these add one:
Love witheld...
restrained.
Please Don't Ever Go
Please never leave me
I couldn't bear the pain.
You're my day
You're my night
You're the sun
You're the moon
And the stars which
Envelope my life.
All I need
Is you to be
Forever with me
By my side.
I need not luxuries
For you are my necessity
And all my needs.
I love you so...
Please,
Please,
Don't ever go.
I couldn't bear the pain.
You're my day
You're my night
You're the sun
You're the moon
And the stars which
Envelope my life.
All I need
Is you to be
Forever with me
By my side.
I need not luxuries
For you are my necessity
And all my needs.
I love you so...
Please,
Please,
Don't ever go.
Moments
Moments away
Are like years apart.
The end of the day
Hurts the most in my heart.
I long for the morn
When I can see your face
And feel the gentleness of your touch
With your strong embrace.
That alone in itself
Gives me the strength
To sleep nights
And gives me the courage
To welcome the day.
Are like years apart.
The end of the day
Hurts the most in my heart.
I long for the morn
When I can see your face
And feel the gentleness of your touch
With your strong embrace.
That alone in itself
Gives me the strength
To sleep nights
And gives me the courage
To welcome the day.
How Much
How much
Do they think
I can take?
I can't go on
I'm about to break.
Life is so hard
Will it ever be worth it?
I hurt so much
No one sees
No one seems to care
No one understands.
It's all a masquerade
From day to day
What do I say
To let one know
I can't go on?
Do they think
I can take?
I can't go on
I'm about to break.
Life is so hard
Will it ever be worth it?
I hurt so much
No one sees
No one seems to care
No one understands.
It's all a masquerade
From day to day
What do I say
To let one know
I can't go on?
Seek?
The hurt,
Loneliness,
Devasting
to the heart.
Crying out
No one hearing,
Seeming to care.
Almost
Giving up
Needing something
Not knowing
Can't endure
Anymore.
If to hide,
Would anyone seek?
Loneliness,
Devasting
to the heart.
Crying out
No one hearing,
Seeming to care.
Almost
Giving up
Needing something
Not knowing
Can't endure
Anymore.
If to hide,
Would anyone seek?
Do You Remember?
I had you once
For a very short time
And the happiness we shared,
I stored in my mind.
I relish the memories
of the times we once knew,
I only wish I knew if
You remember them too.
For a very short time
And the happiness we shared,
I stored in my mind.
I relish the memories
of the times we once knew,
I only wish I knew if
You remember them too.
Like A Rainbow
Although I live miles away,
you are always
Close in my heart.
And when I am lonely
You are all that is on my mind.
When I think about your caring voice
And gentle touch, I realize
You are worth it.
Like a rainbow
Above a cloud,
Your love brightens my life
And colors my world.
It brings me hope
And determination
To live a happy life
And dream of the
Moments when
We can be together
Once more.
you are always
Close in my heart.
And when I am lonely
You are all that is on my mind.
When I think about your caring voice
And gentle touch, I realize
You are worth it.
Like a rainbow
Above a cloud,
Your love brightens my life
And colors my world.
It brings me hope
And determination
To live a happy life
And dream of the
Moments when
We can be together
Once more.
Once In a Lifetime
Just once in a lifetime
The right one comes along.
The feeling is immortal
To know you belong.
Just once in this lifetime
I see his honest face,
I touch his loving hand,
I feel his warm embrace.
Just once in a lifetime
Everything feels right.
I see his shining face
And my darkness turns to light.
Just once in a lifetime
The feeling is so new,
To say three words
and mean them,
The words are
I love you.
The right one comes along.
The feeling is immortal
To know you belong.
Just once in this lifetime
I see his honest face,
I touch his loving hand,
I feel his warm embrace.
Just once in a lifetime
Everything feels right.
I see his shining face
And my darkness turns to light.
Just once in a lifetime
The feeling is so new,
To say three words
and mean them,
The words are
I love you.
Just
Being without you
is just
One step to loneliness.
Missing you
is just
A stab of pain.
Pushing through each day
is just
An act to fill the void.
Dreaming of you
is just
A way of escaping.
is just
One step to loneliness.
Missing you
is just
A stab of pain.
Pushing through each day
is just
An act to fill the void.
Dreaming of you
is just
A way of escaping.
My Love For You
You came into my life
and things began to change.
The sun would never set
Familiar things seemed strange.
Our love began to grow
A very special thing.
A love to last forever
with special joys to bring.
The seasons come and go
And still our love stays true
To carry on until
Grass fails to have dew.
No words could ever tell
The depth of my devotion
the feelings innermost
That special magic potion.
True love can't be explained
But exists in every heart
Soon to be revealed
When nature does its part.
These last few words I'll say,
My love for you is strong
And as long as I shall live
To you I will belong.
and things began to change.
The sun would never set
Familiar things seemed strange.
Our love began to grow
A very special thing.
A love to last forever
with special joys to bring.
The seasons come and go
And still our love stays true
To carry on until
Grass fails to have dew.
No words could ever tell
The depth of my devotion
the feelings innermost
That special magic potion.
True love can't be explained
But exists in every heart
Soon to be revealed
When nature does its part.
These last few words I'll say,
My love for you is strong
And as long as I shall live
To you I will belong.
I Give
I give you my life
and all it entails.
I give you my love,
which forever will prevail.
I give you my faith
For I trust you alone.
I give you myself,
For it's all I own.
and all it entails.
I give you my love,
which forever will prevail.
I give you my faith
For I trust you alone.
I give you myself,
For it's all I own.
I Need
I need your laughter always.
I need the trust you give.
But most of all I need your friendship
For everyday I live.
I may not often tell you
of the thanks within my heart
Of all the dreams, hopes and plans
of which you are a part.
But I hope you understand
At least to some degree
how I care about your friendship,
And how much you mean to me.
I need the trust you give.
But most of all I need your friendship
For everyday I live.
I may not often tell you
of the thanks within my heart
Of all the dreams, hopes and plans
of which you are a part.
But I hope you understand
At least to some degree
how I care about your friendship,
And how much you mean to me.
I Saw Your Face
As I sat on the beach
In the late afternoon
I see your face
In the sea
You were there
Smiling,
Staring at me.
My heart felt warm
and full of happiness.
As I walked out to you
You seemed to disappear
In a single crash
With the high waves
Again you came
and went away.
Will you stay?
In the late afternoon
I see your face
In the sea
You were there
Smiling,
Staring at me.
My heart felt warm
and full of happiness.
As I walked out to you
You seemed to disappear
In a single crash
With the high waves
Again you came
and went away.
Will you stay?
Love Your Life
We cannot
listen to what
others want us to do.
We must listen
to ourselves.
Society,
Family,
Friends
do not know
What we must do.
Only we know,
And only we
Can do what is right for us.
So start right now
You will need to
work very hard.
You will need to
overcome many obstacles.
You will need to go
Against the judgement
of many people.
And you will need
to bypass their prejudices.
But you can have
what you want
If you try hard enough.
So start right now
and you will live
A life designed for you
And you will love your life.
listen to what
others want us to do.
We must listen
to ourselves.
Society,
Family,
Friends
do not know
What we must do.
Only we know,
And only we
Can do what is right for us.
So start right now
You will need to
work very hard.
You will need to
overcome many obstacles.
You will need to go
Against the judgement
of many people.
And you will need
to bypass their prejudices.
But you can have
what you want
If you try hard enough.
So start right now
and you will live
A life designed for you
And you will love your life.
It's You
I sit here,
Bored.
I don't feel like talking
to the people here.
I don't feel like looking
at this place anymore.
I sit here,
Lonely.
Realizing that it's not people
Or places that make me happy,
It's you.
Bored.
I don't feel like talking
to the people here.
I don't feel like looking
at this place anymore.
I sit here,
Lonely.
Realizing that it's not people
Or places that make me happy,
It's you.
I've Got to Let Go
You've hurt me
Too much for me to say.
But I still want you
More than you'll ever know; everyday.
As I sit here alone
I'm filled with so many memories
I still don't want to let go.
Whatever happened
Whatever I did,
I didn't mean it,
I'm still just a kid.
As I walk through the park
the trees seem to talk
They say "She's the one with the broken heart!"
I want to scream and shout
and say it's not so
but it's time I need to realize
I've got to let go.
1991
Too much for me to say.
But I still want you
More than you'll ever know; everyday.
As I sit here alone
I'm filled with so many memories
I still don't want to let go.
Whatever happened
Whatever I did,
I didn't mean it,
I'm still just a kid.
As I walk through the park
the trees seem to talk
They say "She's the one with the broken heart!"
I want to scream and shout
and say it's not so
but it's time I need to realize
I've got to let go.
1991
Lost Souls
In the vast planes
of restless souls
caught between above
and below.
They reach out for
Something;
Someone.
To be comforted
or to just get direction.
Help them if you can.
The lost souls,
They are really our own.
of restless souls
caught between above
and below.
They reach out for
Something;
Someone.
To be comforted
or to just get direction.
Help them if you can.
The lost souls,
They are really our own.
Soul Light
Days past,
Moons back.
A love shared by two.
Now,
shattered memories
of webbed lies,
torn feelings,
a broken heart.
Yet,
The light is there
at the end;
Making it another beginning.
Find your soul light,
Follow it and it will lead
you to tomorrow.
Ignore it
and only darkeness
will follow you.
Moons back.
A love shared by two.
Now,
shattered memories
of webbed lies,
torn feelings,
a broken heart.
Yet,
The light is there
at the end;
Making it another beginning.
Find your soul light,
Follow it and it will lead
you to tomorrow.
Ignore it
and only darkeness
will follow you.
Last
I saw him
standing in the crowd.
I knew who he was,
I knew he was mine
when the light caught
His blue eyes.
They glittered,
his stare so instense.
I could feel his spirit
even yards apart.
He felt me too.
I could feel him looking,
knowing and speaking
only with his eyes.
He knew he was mine.
In a second he was gone
But he was still there.
Our auras collided in the vast
wonderland of another world,
Forever together,
His love my last.
standing in the crowd.
I knew who he was,
I knew he was mine
when the light caught
His blue eyes.
They glittered,
his stare so instense.
I could feel his spirit
even yards apart.
He felt me too.
I could feel him looking,
knowing and speaking
only with his eyes.
He knew he was mine.
In a second he was gone
But he was still there.
Our auras collided in the vast
wonderland of another world,
Forever together,
His love my last.
Last Train
The last train out
left a day ago.
I'm on my own
with nowhere to go.
My bags are packed,
my map's in hand
Where is there to go
In this vast land?
When the road gets long
And the travel hard,
I'll keep looking,
Listening for his song.
left a day ago.
I'm on my own
with nowhere to go.
My bags are packed,
my map's in hand
Where is there to go
In this vast land?
When the road gets long
And the travel hard,
I'll keep looking,
Listening for his song.
Best Friends
She died
Just an hour ago
Left nothing
but her ole dog.
Memories
In that old house
Pour through the windows
of her days long before.
Lonely,
I imagine she wasn't
With that ole dog.
Her chair still rocks
As though she's still there
A secret shared
between best friends.
In her chair
she still sits
Her ole dog,
still,
by her feet.
Just an hour ago
Left nothing
but her ole dog.
Memories
In that old house
Pour through the windows
of her days long before.
Lonely,
I imagine she wasn't
With that ole dog.
Her chair still rocks
As though she's still there
A secret shared
between best friends.
In her chair
she still sits
Her ole dog,
still,
by her feet.
Circles
Circle of love.
The circle
Always coming back around
The constant motion of time
spinning us around.
The circle
No hard edges,
no fine lines,
circles,
Rolling on with time.
Circle of love.
The circle
Always coming back around
The constant motion of time
spinning us around.
The circle
No hard edges,
no fine lines,
circles,
Rolling on with time.
Circle of love.
RLS - Down to my Soul
I saw him there
Standing in the crowd.
I stopped...dead in my tracks
Feeling his magnetism
Our magic colliding together,
wrapping around us.
His eyes so deeply
burning right down to my soul.
I lost my breath,
Paralyzed, I couldn't move.
His eyes looking right into me
Right through me....
Burning right down to my soul.
I knew he wasn't alone
It wasn't yet time
Just a sign.
I knew him immediately,
I knew him from another day.
He was not just another face
From another time,
another place.
He's a part of me
down to my soul...
03-1991
Standing in the crowd.
I stopped...dead in my tracks
Feeling his magnetism
Our magic colliding together,
wrapping around us.
His eyes so deeply
burning right down to my soul.
I lost my breath,
Paralyzed, I couldn't move.
His eyes looking right into me
Right through me....
Burning right down to my soul.
I knew he wasn't alone
It wasn't yet time
Just a sign.
I knew him immediately,
I knew him from another day.
He was not just another face
From another time,
another place.
He's a part of me
down to my soul...
03-1991
The Journey
Life isn't a destination ~
It's a journey.
We all come upon unexpected curves,
turning points,
mountaintops and valleys.
Everything that happens to us
Shapes who we are becoming,
And in the adventure of each day,
We discover the best in ourselves...
It's a journey.
We all come upon unexpected curves,
turning points,
mountaintops and valleys.
Everything that happens to us
Shapes who we are becoming,
And in the adventure of each day,
We discover the best in ourselves...
Ice Cold
The glass house shattered.
Fell to a million pieces.
The slivers of glass, ice cold
pierced my heart,
All,
not just a part.
There I lay bleeding.
The mist from his breath
Ice cold, hitting
the warm air,
clouding his eyes
as they stared at me
through the haze.
Hearing, not believing
these lies
Seeing, unmistakenly,
the hard stone glaze.
Afraid to again give my heart.
The slivers of glass,
Ice cold,
Pierced my heart,
All,
not just a part.
Fell to a million pieces.
The slivers of glass, ice cold
pierced my heart,
All,
not just a part.
There I lay bleeding.
The mist from his breath
Ice cold, hitting
the warm air,
clouding his eyes
as they stared at me
through the haze.
Hearing, not believing
these lies
Seeing, unmistakenly,
the hard stone glaze.
Afraid to again give my heart.
The slivers of glass,
Ice cold,
Pierced my heart,
All,
not just a part.
You Think
You think that I can't live
without your love,
You'll see..
You think I have nothing
without you by my side
You'll see...
Somehow, someday.
You think you are strong,
but you are weak
Admit defeat.
I have trust on my side,
You only deceit.
All by myself
I don't need anyone at all.
All on my own,
I know I'll survive
I'll stay alive...
011696
without your love,
You'll see..
You think I have nothing
without you by my side
You'll see...
Somehow, someday.
You think you are strong,
but you are weak
Admit defeat.
I have trust on my side,
You only deceit.
All by myself
I don't need anyone at all.
All on my own,
I know I'll survive
I'll stay alive...
011696
Monday, November 2, 2009
2 Years Gone By
It's been a little of two years since my last post. And today, I sit here am wondering the same things. Will he come home tonight straight? Will it ever change?
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